transported

  Yesterday I realized I have fallen in love with Thailand. It hit me when we were coming back from campus. It was one of those breath stuck in your throat moments. Through everything hard and challenging I have seen in the first week God has placed a spirit of thankfulness in me. Thankful for so much -thankful for our team and the Thai Christians -thankful for the time in the word being taught from it -thankful for the conversations that have already taken place. In our perspective training time Gary talked about having the perspective of being called...called to be a child of God, called to be like Christ, and called to call others. He spent time discussing the first two and how they can radically change our thoughts. There is a freshness to living in the mindset of being a child of God. The truth of being called from darkness to light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transported us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, colossians 1:13 oh if only our thoughts were filled with appreciation. I am reading a historical fiction account of Rahab, the author has portrayed Rahab as having a longing to know the God of the Hebrews. {I would love Him! Her mouth trembled, and her eyes were hot, with tears. I would serve Him any way He asked. Given the chance, I would bow down before Him and rejoice to be counted among His people!} in reading I have come to question my own heart and see the ungratefulness that lives within. I am called daughter and known by the one true God! This calls for rejoicing and an attitude that lives in thanksgiving. The second thought he shared with us in training was that we are called to be like Christ. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 1 peter 2:21 what we do and how we live matters. Our time here was described as a spiritual gym, this summer you will feel weaker than ever before and there are two responses 1.Shut down 2. Cry out to God and depend on Him. -In my struggle God is with me, making me holy- So in the language barrier, in the insecurity of not knowing the culture, in being stuck inside myself God is here, teaching me, changing me. I really am in Thailand. This really is the life I have been given. All at once it has been overwhelming, hard, stretching and beautiful. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! Psalm 139:6

I pray that the awesomeness and truth of this brings me to my knees- for those who do not know the God of Heaven and earth  -for those who feel hopeless. Please pray for those who walk in despair. Pray for boldness in your own heart to share the love of Christ with those around you -Please pray for my family back home as death creeps in and grief cuts deep into the hearts of many. As my heart pounds 'why?' to the tragedy that grips my family I pray to rest in the shade of Gods control and for His peace which passes understanding.   

learning how to love you
kathryn

in a kingdom in southeast Asia...

Thailand::: 
Life in Thailand has been an incredible experience so far. The Lord is shaking the entire team to the core. Keep praying for the time we have left here in Thailand. Pray God would be glorified and made much of in every moment. Pray we would bow down before Him and rejoice to be counted among His people as we share about the everlasting Kingdom. 

one night after dinner at the night market

Courtney and me getting smoothies after a very active afternoon. I love spending my days with her!

day market

papaya salad: they love this stuff and want us to love it too. 

i love this woman! i am so blessed to have her as my ministry partner this summer.

dinner at t-bone. Jelly and P'Courtney

yes, this man is boxing a snake.

Taylor and little boy at the umm...zoo?

learning how to love you

...i just can't find the words

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are 

Who knew blogging would be so hard.

But really. I use to think that I liked words and writing but now I’m not so sure. I want desperately to find words for everything that has entered my heart in the past 180 hours. I think in my struggle of wanting the perfect sentence or post that helps you understand what is happening in Thailand is showing me much about God. God is bigger than my blog post. Feel free to laugh. But it has been a battle on how to remember and process this trip...and it is only day four. There is no way to describe what God is doing. I am seeing more now than ever that every second of my life has been transforming me for these days in Thailand. Even the time here is changing and molding me into the women God envisioned when He knitted me together. 

I pray that your heart is encouraged as you read and that the Holy Spirit would help you rejoice in what is happening here.

First I love the ccp team. We haven’t had much team time but everyone is so encouraging. I love the stories (often hilarious) when we come back the the dorm after time with some of the Thai’s. It is a privilege that we are together in this. It blows my mind that the Lord designed this team in such a unique way. I can’t wait to keep learning from my brothers and sisters. Second the Thai christians are the most encouraging people I have ever met. Their passion for the Lord and love for Christ brings tears to my eyes. I am overwhelmed that I get to spend this summer alongside them. They understand the darkness of this country and have faith that God will bring light to Thailand. From death to life, their testimonies are powerful and beautiful. It is such a blessing to see the Thai christians and their heart for all nations to know Christ. They understand giving their life away. 

Sunday in worship we sang the same songs, they sang in thai and we sang in english. I get chills thinking about it. My heart will treasure that moment forever. Pretty positive most of the team has blogged about those minutes of worship. In a book I read before this trip it said “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.” Sunday, we were satisfied, He was glorified. God’s glory...would be the only words. Third ministry in Thailand is not what I thought....well honestly I have no idea what I thought it would be like. It has been exciting, exhausting, and intentional to the extreme. our focus is meeting the freshman (10,000 this year). Yeaaa. 

 Fourth the language. We are horrible at thai. They are patient, praise Jesus. 

In these first few days it has been an adjustment. Again I don’t know how to tell you all that is happing. I am blessed to be here, struggling, seeing sin, fighting it all while learning and sharing about the authority of Christ. Please pray for our team as we continue to minister. Pray that we would fix our eyes on Jesus, that we would count everything as lost besides knowing Him. Pray for health and a Thai meal we can stomach. 

learning how to love you,

Kathryn

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippines 3:12-14

sa-wat-dee kah

 we made it. our 'crazy' picture

Welcome to Thailand.

As much as I couldn’t believe we were leaving I can’t believe we are here. We have spent and entire day in Khon Kaen Thailand. One of the things I was most excited about this trip was that nothing would be familiar. Very true. Minus the extremely popular 7/11 and KFC...but even in the familiarity it is not like I can read anything once I get inside. As much as I want to remember every detail and tell you the trip moment by moment by brain won’t let me. I am thankful for teammates who have written about the details of the traveling. Maybe after the jet lag I can spend sometime with the memories. I do know the Thai’s have been the nicest most exciting people I have ever been around (yes I know it is only day one). My prayer is that what I see and experience will be processed through my heart with the truth of Jesus Christ.

 More is to come but I can’t force my eyes open any longer.

khob-kun-ka  (thank you in thai) for your prayers and support

learning how to love you,

Kathryn

hemmed in

 as I write the count down is as follows:

 57 hours until I board a plane with some of the best people on the planet.

104 hours until we arrive in Thailand.  

I cannot believe it. nope.

This time next week I will be in Thailand. I’m so excited. AHH so excited.

As thrilled, as I am to make new friends and experience God in new ways I have been having a hard time answering the reoccurring “are you ready?” question.

Ready- adjective

1. completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use// I think of Moses and his question when God calls him to go to Pharaoh “Who am I that I should go?” God responds: “I will be with you.” Sometimes I wonder if Moses didn’t hear what the bush said because he continues with excuses. Clearly he is incredibly worried and is not feeling the slightest bit prepared or in any sort of condition for what the Lord has asked. I pray that as believers however unprepared we “feel” for what God is calling us to do, Thailand, Malaysia, Africa, India, Destin FL, work, summer or school, that we would hear what God is saying “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” I pray our hope would be joyful and we would truly rest in the Lord being with us always.

2. duly equipped, completed, adjusted, or arranged, as for an occasion or purpose//read it again. I didn’t do any of those things all the credit goes to the Lord. but wow. equipped- because of Christ.  completed- in Christ. adjusted/arranged- by Christ. purpose- for Christ. The power of God  that raised Jesus from dead to alive…runs through my veins. I pray this summer the Lord brings me to a deeper understanding of that truth. His incredible and awesome power equips us to make Him known. Acts 1:8 “but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Romans 8:11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."


3. willing// Isaiah 6:8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." Luke 1:38 Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." And then the angel left her. Luke 22:42 “… not my will, but yours be done.”  Incredible examples of willingness to do whatever the Lord asks. Please Jesus mold my heart to be the same.

so…am I ready?

I suppose I answered that question when I surrendered to the Lordship of Christ. My life is not my own. I’m incredibly grateful and blessed beyond measure to be a part of the mystery of God. Purchased with the blood of Christ.

Summer 2011. we will never get another one like this, our lives will never be like they are now. Let us open our eyes and hearts to see the glory of our King!

I love you and so thankful to know you. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement.  Enjoy the summer and the greatness of our God.

-until Thailand-

Kathryn 

Clap your hands, all you nations!
Shout to God with cries of joy.
How awesome is the Lord most high,

twisting darkness

a storm rolls in

under the

breathing thoughts

of

my mind

i wish i never

gave them life,

life enough

to seek

the heart

in my chest

the one that

rains blood

the one that

is cracked and dark

but to it

these thoughts

have journeyed

like the serpent in that tree

they have

introduced

a friend

called doubt

offering promises

to fill holes

that didn’t exist

until they told me

all while

creating

a desire for

what

i haven’t been given

a desire 

now embedded so deep

into my stony heart

im not surprised

she ate the fruit.

i now know

i nurtured

my own torment

feeding the thoughts

clinging to the

hope

i was sure they

would bring

forgetting to remember

He who poured out his life

unto death.

the crooked winged

angel

stands

praying beside me

as the one

covered in pearls

flies behind her

they

make me wonder

if the storm is on

its way

to my heart

and

if lightning

was to strike

would it break open

this cage

locked from the inside.

I pray to be only Yours

I’ve misplaced my journal. 

Apparently it is the only paper that exists in the world because I haven’t really reflected or written down anything since it scampered away. You would think I would have some analogy/metaphor or gospel connection for this....well maybe you wouldn’t...but I’ve been waiting for some glimmering thought to squeeze into my brain. nothing. 

There are so many things I have wanted to write down but haven’t. So many thoughts I have suffocated because a little book is hidden from my eyes. Also I have suffered from do I write? do I not write? I know. Silly. Not about me all for the King.

So if I could be random....I don’t know why I am asking permission. 

I went to a wedding this weekend. Beautiful. Mmmm...I don’t think I have been to an ugly one. But anyway. My heart was doing the ekkk wedding chant! typical girl. And as my friend was about to walk down the isle I snatched up my anxious thoughts that were years down the road. I took them to the foot of the cross. Jesus protect my heart and let me live the life you have written for me, not dreaming up another. Teach me much about you. He did that for sure. Not immediately but my mind has shifted and everything I heard yesterday sounds different. For your Maker is your husband--the LORD Almighty is his name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54:5

 How exciting! 

This is a stretch but my heart loves it and I pray it is okay to think this way,

 I, the LORD Almighty, take you Kathryn, to be my wife, to have as my own and to hold in my right hand, to lift up your face and bestow glory upon you, from this day and every second to come, for better or for best, for my Kingdom’s glory, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until you see me face to face.

I, Kathryn, surrender to you Almighty God, to be my husband, to live in union with You, pour me out for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so I can reflect your love, majesty and sacrifice to the world; from this day forward until I arrive home. 

I Lamb of God, give you Kathryn my life, death and resurrection I commit my love, honor, and respect to you.

I Kathryn, give you Jesus all the heartbeats left in my chest, that you would be glorified. Write in me the letter of yourself to be read by all so that the world will know you. In the life you have given me be lifted high. You are my only hope. I will praise and exalt you the King who lives forever. 

Praise Jesus. I could journal for days. I am so excited for Easter...to live the Passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! 

learning how to love you,

Kathryn